In the land of sundried tomatoes, lives an acorn who wishes to be a tree. The Acorn is happily growing from its branch, as its time will come, when it can be tree. As the months progress it swells and grows, it is ripe n ready for its time. Finally its time came, and it sprung free from its bond to the tree, free to grow further and independent of the tree, free to reach up to its potential. Hitting the ground it landed softly in a bed of leaves. My time is here, I must show them I can be tree. When suddenly a squirrel came along and stuffed the acorn into its gob and chowed down on it. For the Acorn was not to be a tree, the Acorn was to be squirrel shit.

Three men, Gary, Dan, and Job, grew up together as best friends. They dreamed of one day becoming rich and would do anything to attain wealth. One day, as they were sitting in the local bar, they overheard another group of men discussing the long lost buried treasure of Captain Sleazybeard. The three friends agree that this is their chance to make it big and decide to go together to find this treasure. After searching for months deep in the jungle, they come across a cave that they are certain contains the treasure. There are many traps within the cave: poisoned arrows, moats of crocodiles, pits of fire, and rolling boulders, but the three friends are determined to get their wealth. Finally, they reach the deepest part of the cave and it is *filled* with treasure: gold, diamonds, rubies, and more! In the center of the cave is a large sepulchre with the words of a strange language written across it and depictions of death and suffering all along its sides. The three friends paid it no h...